( This Blog started in April 2011 )
I was working doing construction until the bottom fell out in 2008. Since then I collected unemployment benefits. Then they ran out. Then my wife ran out. Then my Mom passed away. Then my car died. I couldn't pay rent so out I went.
At first I tried to stay with a friend, but that got old real fast. At least he let me store my stuff until I got a tent. I did check out a homeless shelter first but, I found out that I had to be there by 4:00pm everyday , stand in line and hope to get a bed ( cot ) for the night. I figured that just wouldn't work, How am I supposed to work and be there at check in at the same time. Besides , I might not get in anyway. Most people at shelters seem real nice, some are not. some will give you one of their only two shirts, others will steal your shoes while you sleep.
I refuse to panhandle ( beg ). I go to day labor halls, sometimes I get sent out but mostly not. I was donating plasma ( blood ) until one day my pulse was to high . ( come back and try again tomorrow ) Then I started getting so nervous I would fail that my blood pressure and pulse would go through the roof. No more money that way, sometimes I find a little under the table work. I'm always asking and looking. I fill out lots of job applications. These days it is all on computer, I can't even look someone in the eye to get the job.
So now I live in the woods. My biggest worry is when I get back at night my gear will be ripped off. The cops sometimes find camps and like to cut up tents and destroy belongings. A very persuasive way of saying " move along ". I have my freedom and come and go as I please. It is lonely though, I cannot afford to let anyone know where my camp is or that I'm even without doors.
Personal hygiene is a challenge sometimes ( showers ) but sponge baths and shaving , brushing teeth can be easily accomplished everyday. There is no reason to be stinky and dirty.
I try to stay upbeat and hopeful. If I find myself feeling self-pity or lonely, I will myself to be positive. It is very easy to sink into depression and despair if you don't keep your wits about you. I try to have a laugh now and then but truthfully I haven't in quite some time. everything is serious that's all. It can be life or death out on the streets. Anger and resentment will drag you down to a place you don't want to go. So I smile, and keep chugging along because I believe that happy circumstance is just around the next bend of the road. Don't worry , be happy, every things going to be alright.
They're all
Sitting on the sidewalks, sleeping in the parks,
The invisible people everybody walks past.
Ignored by society, nobody cares,
They think it's your fault, that you've chosen to be there.
If only they knew, how desperate you are,
To hear just one person say they care about your life.
But they don't even look at you, they walk on by.
You're not their problem, it's not their life.
TILL NEXT TIME...........
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